Let me explain, I am using jakes Mac and Mac's are better and yet more confusing. I couldn't rotate the the images and i thought maybe i shouldn't put them up because i didn't realise the were unrotated but then i can't be bothered so you can click on them and download them and rotate them yourselves if it's a big problem *breath*. No fullstops.


Now the pics are in a weird order - this is only up to Varkala because the rest of my pics are on my camera.... The first are Pics from Mysore - remember i talked about the palace that was lit up?? that's it.



Then one pic of Bombay... nice.


The next is Varkala - alll Varkala... WAIT no, first the two palms are from the kerala backwaters house boat..


Then it's Varkala...







I'm quite irritated about the fact that these pictures are sideways but I'm going to turn a blind eye.

I need to tell you so much. Shall we start first with the Tequila promotion?
Okay so in my guest house. Let me tell you about my guesthouse because i kinda fell in love with it. It was 3 floors up (stairs) about 400m from the Gateway of India. The rooms are merely partitioned - that means the walls are there, they just don't reach the ceiling. The beds are clean and the bathrooms are shared. I can't tell you what it was, but there was something about the place.
Anyways, some agents came to the guesthouse and wondered if i wanted to do some promotional work - paid rs. 700 to serve tequila at a party. Wear a black dress.
Sounds fine so i agreed. Be ready at 8.
I'm ready at 8 in my denim skirt (which is a mini). The agent tells me there is another girl. We meet her and she happens to be Israeli, which was good. I'm told we are riding on motorcycles until we reach the border of downtown (rickshaws aren't allowed into downtown Mumbai) and then we will catch a rickshaw... cheaper.
Woah, fine and all except i am wearing a miniskirt. Get over it and hop on.
We ride north and passed the slums. I couldn't believe it - these ramshackle houses, dirty, falling apart, patched up. Clothes everywhere, children everywhere. You peek inside and see televisions, food. It's like a home. It was amazing to see. People were HAPPY. Happy people with some space in Bombay. Did i tell you that the day before we were told by a man, a scout for the Elephanta Caves, that "Everything in India is Possible. Except a house.". And it couldn't be more true. With a billion people, space is hard to find. These houses were like a luxury. I'm trying not to judge this from a Western perspective but this is the way they live. It's not so 'dirty' or 'revolting' - it just is. It's like you don't question your own home or the way you live - you accept that it's just the way it is. And there is kindness. Kindness that is just missing in some parts of where we live (i'll get back to this re: London).

Okay we arrive and are given the dresses. EW EW EW EW EW EW !!!! Black with fake diamonties, long and ruffled with spaghetti straps. Kill me NOW. We were also given shoes.. ew other people's feet!
We are ALSO given this belt which was quite cool except that it had a pouch to carry a bottle and 4 spaces for shots. So we get dressed. I look like some Supre`-slut. Never mind. Then we are given shots of this drink called BlueLagoon and we have to carry trays.
The other Israeli girl is laughing and chatting with all the boys but I am laughing and chatting with all the older people. Like there were old women and men sitting at the tables. They were so lovely and friendly and they just wanted to chat. It was here that i heard my favorite middle class conversation. Imagine please that there are 4 men in their 50's and they aren't really drinking alcohol because of their generation. Each voice is of a different man and you MUST imagine the Indian accent:

"What is it?"
"Yah, it's not alcohol"
"But what am i drinking?"
"It is called Red Bull yah."
"Redbull?" They have in their hands each a full glass of it.
"Yah, it is like alcohol."
"Yah but are you sure."
"Yah I'm sure, just drink it."

I have to say i was laughing out loud. anyways, if you don't find that funny, don't worry - it could just be me.
So we served all night and the men got more and more drunk. The elderly people left and i got bored. The men were obviously lecherous swines and i kept fending them off. I also made my own B52's and kept drinking them. Nice. Then we demanded at 02:30 to be taken home. We were and were paid rs. 700.

The next morning was the morning i was flying out. he he he. not. It wasn't quite as funny as i thought when i went to bed at 03:15 and had to wake up, pack, go to the Internet, buy new sunglasses with my newly made money and, ofcourse, EAT. Incidentally i had my best Palak Paneer. IT was SO GOOD.

SO i managed to get into my taxi 1/2 hour late. I'm totally PLUTZING and then, oh yes, THEN the taxi has a flat tire. SO HE STOPS ON THE CAUSEWAY (not in Colaba but where the fishmarket is) and changes it in the MIDDLE OF THE ROAD IN THE SOUTH OF BOMBAY (this is amazing, it truly is) not only is he avoiding an accident, BUT IM RUNNING LATE. Don't worry i clearly made it.
Did you know there were selling toblerones for rs. 120 rupees in the airport? I couldn't believe it (in the expensive way).
My flight had about 50 people on it and 20 of them were young people like myself returning. We all had atleast 3 chairs to ourselves and slept. I arrived in London and could not believe the civilisation of it all, nor the cleanliness, nor the quiet. On to the tube and i arrived at Jakes door, not really worse for wear.

And so ended India. Well for this trip. I really miss it.

London is very different. I must admit that i do not really like it. I don't like the people. The city itself is charming and beautiful. The people are cold and unhappy. No one here smiles. It is very strange. I think i must describe London like your grandfather. You love him, but you know he is staunch and set in his ways. He can't change so he lives his life the way he knows how and you either follow suite or you leave. London is not like my grandfather - i don't love it.
I went to the Tate yesterday and spent 4.5 hours there. I LOVE MIRO. No really, i do. I LOVE Miro. I studied him in school but his paintings in real life - wow.
Anyways then i went to Shakespeare's globe because there was free entry due to Christmas. Then a Christmas market. It began to rain (surprise) and i got the tube to Oxford street. I was on a mission to find a coat. All i had was a woolen red shawl i bought in Hampi but would have bought up north in Himachal if not for the whole travelling desert and beaches for 3 months more. It's beautiful though but just not so practical.
Anyways i went to Zara, H&M and Topshop and i was QUITE UNIMPRESSED. The London style is really very boring. It wasn't even the prices that turned me off, just the lack of ingenuity. Well i walked along Oxford for a while till i came to a dingy shop and found this short black coat, It's waisted and has four buttons. It has like an opera cape neck. Really lovely lines. I like it alot. I bought it. It happened to be the cheapest coat i found and i didn't plan it that way - i was willing to go to 40 pounds, but this one was 30. (i also actually fell in love with a free form tailored coat with a tye-up sash thing and no buttons from Zara but it was 130 pounds with equivilates (not a word i know, but India fried my brains) to $320 or something. Er. No.
I wondered around for a while yet.
Then i went to meet Jake at his work at about 6pm. He works at a children's theatre called The Unicorn. It has been specifically designed for kids. Jake told me that on Sat night that passed, Jude Law came in with his kids. Apparently he is a good father and lots of fun... *shrug*.
There i found free wine and food. I chatted with his friends a while and we all made our way to the pub. I am way too laid back for London. I am also way too smiley for London. In fact i am not cut out for London. If i stayed here, it would suck the life out of me.
The pub was fun - lively. I got a HUGE glass of red - this is important because i have not had wine in 3.5 months. I LOVE WINE.
I chatted to a guy from the Caribbean and a guy from Turkey - two architects. It was a life changing conversation that i cannot articulate nor go into, but basically i saw the seeds of racism and prejudice being projected onto me as an attribute that i have. I was told that i was inherently racist dafka because these guys couldn't accept or believe me when i told them that things like that aren't part of my personality. It was quite horrible.
Anyways I cannot find the words or concepts to articulate it, as i said before. Maybe one day.
Jake's friends were lovely. The pub was friendly and i had a good time. I had been walking for like hours that day and when we got back to Jake's place, I crashed.
And now it's morning, i just got up.

Well. I hope you enjoyed that post... it was a concerted effort on my part.

ps. LONDON IS COLD.