OH GOD, to be un-connected!

Okay that post title has like a double meaning which only I get at the moment. But after some explanation i think that you all will as well.

So since my lack of login, i went to HAIFA. yay! What did i do there? Okay so on the first night i met (i was with Loz) some Argentinians who went on Taglit (birthright) who were a little strange. But we cooked and ate and watched MTV in the common room. Now let me give you a little history. So has anyone heard of the Bahai's? Yeh me neither until haifa. They are a random Iraqi religion that... well I am not quite sure what they do. but they have a garden. NO WAIT I AM MISSING A DAY.

Loz and I went to Ein Hod for a day. It is an artists village outside of haifa and we hitched there. basically in order to live in this village you must apply. Then the board will check that a) you are an artist, and b) have slightly world renowned work c) i dont have a c but it seemed a waste to do the a and b without a c.

So you can imagine that everyone, I MEAN EVERYONE is crazy in this little hillside town. We walk down this path and i went to a door to read the sign on it (we had followed a sign that said 'beer bar' (it was morning)). Suddenly the door opens almost on my nose and this crazy looking 6"2 man steps out. He has glasses.. or maybe he doesn't.. but he definitely had crazy frizzy grey hair. He also has an American accent. I jump back and we say hello. He says hello. Then he asks us if we want to come in. Well I'm practically RUNNING to the door. I mean there is obviously an adventure to be had, right? Well we get in and he asks us if we want to try "the best pale ale". He has clearly made a bold claim. I mean, THE BEST pale ale? He pulls out a beer and pours a glass for loz and I. We taste it. Now i have to admit something, and I know that it is bad. I know that i should be ashamed. BUT, I HATE BEER. Seriously. I can hear the shocked gasps. Well Loz told me, quote, it was pretty good. Then this crazy beer-making, mechanically driven arty-farty man tells us (okay so i may have prodded and poked a little) that he is 54 and married for the 1st time at 52 and knew that marriage was not for him. He wouldnt tell me if he had kids because "that would be a soap opera story". and, well. he was just nuts. His name was danny. he gave us more beer and pretzels. And we moved on (i may be quite apt with a keyboard but i have just been on a bus for 4 hours and can't be bothered).

then we met ANOTHER nutcase. this guy, and i have a fantastic picture, said to us "Chag Sameach!". We asked him what chag it was. "Tu-Bishvat" he replies. err, that's in 2 weeks, but okay. He was just hilarious.. you wont understand until you see the picture..

After we came to a really cool, really shanti cafe. Loz and I ordered Tuna Salads respectively.. heh.. and OMG it was amazing. NO SERIOUSLY, the best food in israel so far. yummmmm!

As if that is not enough, we then walked to a pottery place. I was simply perusing the pottery when this REALLY Eastern European looking man (HUGE NOSE) with blue eyes came out. He also had a Slavic accent.

I said "this is beautiful stuff but you see-"

"I chknow, I chknow, you cannot travel with it. All you Americans ("I am NOT American!" I exclaim) are the same. Oh you think because you chave to travel so far that you can't take pottery on the plane. Why is it the Dutch girl can buy pottery? Why can that German girl by pottery. Because they come from Europe. They are USED to plane travel. They chknow how to do it." He stops to breathe.

"Well firstly I am not American, i am australian. And it takes 31 hours to get here. And as if that's not enough, I am a backpacker, i don't even have a hard bag. And I'm not going directly home. It's BLOODY impractical." I shouted back. I don't know what it was about this man but he drove me crazy from the first instance.

"Yeh, yeh. I hear it all the time." He says.

"Well I dont need to justify myself."

"Hey if i was you, i wouldn't buy the pottery either".

So why was this man arguing with me.

THEN i tried, chutzpanit, to bargain and he said to me "I'm from Eastern Europe, I don't bargain."

Great.

As i was leaving, he called me "crazy" and Loz "normal".

I retorted that "Someone should throw some salt on him, to remove the bitterness".

"You Australians," He said, "You're sharp." (sharp in the context meaning pointy and painful).

Well. I've been called worse.

Oh there is SO MUCH MORE TO WRITE AND I CAN'T BE BOTHERED.

the reason the title is funny is because i went to SFAT and had a CHASSIDIC SHABBAT. like TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY. and it was nuts. and i need to write about it - but i didn't have internet and they were trying to make me connect with GOD. I prefer connecting with the internet, if you know what i mean... But ill explain it all when i am motivated..