I think only dot-point and slight elaborations are going to help me:

SO I left you in Ein Hod. After this we

• hitched back to haifa
• met book, who came to meet us.. duh.
• watched AMERICAN IDOL AND MADE JUDGEMENTS with hostel people
• went out to a bar to have a drink
• went for a walk to find an adventure
• accidentally happened upon a club.. convinced the security guards to let me wear their uniform.
• Got us into the club with a discount
• was promised a free drink (we actually left too early for me to claim it)
• Now this is a funny story: So normally i would NOT write that i had gone to a club because that is just the kind of stuff you retell in person, right? Well this time it was funny because there i was in MY JEANS and T-SHIRT and HIKING BOOTS... in a club.. when this guy taps me on the back.

he says to me, "Hey, were you in India recently?"

I'm like, "yeh!?"

He's like "I saw you... in kerala"

I looked at him hard and realised that i may have seen him as well, on the beach in varkala. i laughed. What a small world, hey?

• Okay so then we went home because he had to go to the bahai gardens
• we woke up in TERRIBLE MOODS because I HAD BEEN ATTACKED by a killer MOSQUITO all night and i woke up with a PUFFY EYE i couldnt open, from the onslaught.
• Loz was in a bad mood coz her top fell onto the roof.
• Book was in a bad mood because we were.

So you can imagine.

• Anyways, blah blah blah bahai blah blah.
• We had plans to stay with these Chabad organisation in Tzfat who allot you to people's houses and you share meals and get meals etc. and it's really cheap.

SO WE WENT. oh boy, did i not expect this..

• Basically we arrive, girls dorm straight away. Then they tell us "oh there is a shiur in the library". And so it starts. No thanks. We went for a walk and then showered.
• We went to a lovely karlebach service and were then taken to this family. From everyone is tzfat's reactions, we were taken to a reallly good family. It just so happened that they had invited 3 australian girls as well WHO I KINdA KNEW. small world.
• Anyways it was a funny meal because i accidentally challenged another guest who was making stupid bold claims and not defining things.. things like "let go of your self esteem" and give into "god esteem". Well i told him that he hadnt defined esteem correctly because if people didn't have esteem for themselves then they wouldn't be able to act in the world and hopes and pursuits etc. In anycase suffice it to say that he didnt listen to me but other people at the table did. The woman, host, was lovely... she said she used to drive a motorcycle.. how cool is that?
• Okay so in the morning Loz and I woke at like 10am and had to be at lunch for 11am. We went to this family with an AMAZING house in tzfat. i always seem to get myself in trouble or something. They gave me a shawl to 'cover up' and so i put on my jacket. apparently my top is TOO BIG.. too much chest.. i swear it was NEVER LIKE THAT.. embarressing.. Okay well Loz didnt think it was a problem.. never mind. The hosts name was Yechiel. i told him my great grandfather had that name, as does my brother. He gave me a special 'l'chaim l'chaim' shot glass in their honor!
• He then kinda ruined it all by telling us at the end of the meal that the Israeli government was not run by Jews because the politicians dont have Jewish Souls. He doesn't think zionists are jews... Well i told me that we shall agree to disagree. i still liked him anyway.
• Spent that night in tzfat, got in trouble for being in the boys dorms.. Oh yeh I NEED TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE MELAVEH MALKA (meal after shabbat!)
• Okay so this chabadnik sits with us and says he needs to tell a story of the bal shem tov (REBBE STORIES.. i cant even express my disdain). SO HE TELL US THIS STORY that the rebbe sent a guy on a boat and the boat crashed and the guy went to an island and on the island there was no one. On shabbat all these people suddenly appeared and he has shabbat with them but they wouldnt talk of chol (not shabbat) and so they disappeared after shabbat before the guy could ask. This happens for two more weeks. On the third he grabs a guy and says, NO TELL ME. So the guy says that he is part of the lost tribes and they study in heaven all week and come to earth for shabbat. Does he want to join or to go back to the rebbe? obviously back to the rebbe. so the lostribe guy gives him a note with a special phrase on it, that will transport him. but he has a condition: he must throw out the note. So he's like yeh, definitely. He goes back and is about to chuck it out when the rebbe asks 'what are you doing?" and the rebbe grabs his hand and the note and says "that's why i sent you".
• LIKE WHAT THE FUCK? I mean these guys ARE STUDYING IN HEAVEN. HEAVEN!! WITH GOD! and he GIVES THIS GIFT TO THE REBBE?? simply because the rebbe ASKS?? REBBE ISn'T GOD. Well i had an outburst. And the chabbadnik couldnt understand.. he was like, 'what? it's his REBBE". IM LIKE "WHAT, IT'S HIS GOD and HEAVEN."
• Okay so then he tries to tell us that the rebbe is like moshe, who didnt see bnei yisrael into Israel - so too the rebbe wont see us into the moshiach-age. I got what he was trying to say before he explained it properly and told him straight out that moshe was punished for hitting the rock and the punishment was given to im because he was such a tzadik. So was he trying to tell me that the rebbe made a huge averah(sin) or that the rebbe just decided not to come with us. HIS PARALLEL DID NOT MAKE SENSE.. And apparently i got some surprised looks from the female chabad-converters...
• Woah.
• So then we came back to tel aviv and went out last night

I HAVE TO GO ITS ENOUGH ALREADY.