Okay i think i have been watching way too much Sex and the City, BUT i want to consider a concept.
So Carrie always talks about relationships, and how men and women don't really want relationships but they want sex, and then if the sex is good/there is chemistry etc, then they want to relationship.
BUT ONE THING CARRIE FAILED TO MENTION was the situation where you have the relationship without the sex.
Like think about all your good friends. Don't you sometimes think that you are so domestic that you are in a relationship without the sex part? Like you know what they like and don't like, what they eat and don't eat - their patterns. I felt like that sometimes when i travelled with Sarah - we obviously aren't going out but we were having a relationship.
We still are.
And i have male friends. After a particularly funny domestic situations with one male friend, i commented that it was kind of hilarious that we have a relationship without sex, when most people our age are opting for the sex without the relationship.
And i know it doesn't have to MEAN anything, but if it did, what are the implications? Are relationships easier without the whole sexual chemistry? Or are these relationships just waiting to happen into something more? OR have we totally blown this idea of relationships out of proportion? I actually think it's the latter. It seems that we have it in our heads to be precious, to wait, to play the game.
But what if the only game we are playing is the game where we convince ourselves we need the relationship, and that it must be topped with the sex part (when i say sex i don't mean it literally, i just meant the 'next level' relationship). When really every relationship is the same - men women etc. THE SAME.
It doesn't seem like the right conclusion, but it does cast a different light on the whole 'boy' situations. maybe we should all just chill a little bit, and not take it all so seriously...
So Carrie always talks about relationships, and how men and women don't really want relationships but they want sex, and then if the sex is good/there is chemistry etc, then they want to relationship.
BUT ONE THING CARRIE FAILED TO MENTION was the situation where you have the relationship without the sex.
Like think about all your good friends. Don't you sometimes think that you are so domestic that you are in a relationship without the sex part? Like you know what they like and don't like, what they eat and don't eat - their patterns. I felt like that sometimes when i travelled with Sarah - we obviously aren't going out but we were having a relationship.
We still are.
And i have male friends. After a particularly funny domestic situations with one male friend, i commented that it was kind of hilarious that we have a relationship without sex, when most people our age are opting for the sex without the relationship.
And i know it doesn't have to MEAN anything, but if it did, what are the implications? Are relationships easier without the whole sexual chemistry? Or are these relationships just waiting to happen into something more? OR have we totally blown this idea of relationships out of proportion? I actually think it's the latter. It seems that we have it in our heads to be precious, to wait, to play the game.
But what if the only game we are playing is the game where we convince ourselves we need the relationship, and that it must be topped with the sex part (when i say sex i don't mean it literally, i just meant the 'next level' relationship). When really every relationship is the same - men women etc. THE SAME.
It doesn't seem like the right conclusion, but it does cast a different light on the whole 'boy' situations. maybe we should all just chill a little bit, and not take it all so seriously...
4 comments:
very thought-provoking post nechama
and i feel like i haven't commented for a while
may i firstly say that its "sex AND the city" and that her name is "carrie"
you sound just like her with your insightful musings and reflections on life
i'm not sure what to make of them - i will ponder for a while
i'm more amazed that i never noticed the similarities between you and carrie - both think about things waaaaaaaay too much and over-analyse and obsess
but i guess that's why everyone loves you! oh and you make a mean cheeecake.
jade
better? :P
Hey nech, It's been a while i know, but it sounds like you are in the space i was a couple of months back - I watched the entire series of Sex and the City, some of it on an excercise bike, some of it at 2, 3 o'clock in the morning. Its a little addictive, i'll be the first to admit. I hope you haven't got it as bad as i had it, but hey, i was unemployed - that's what you do. Not unemployed now tho, in fact have been working full time for three months and still having a great time, which is why i have been out of touch, Sorry. Hope uni's going well for you, and everything else. be in touch soon! Cheers, Jess
Nu? you havent blogged in 19 days!
That must be a record
Ur letting down your fans
Get on with it!
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