Okay so i guess i should keep the blog up - I've been pretty crap lately at writing. Not sure why.

But here's the deal. Is anyone else mad at the pop culture/religious movements for making them think that their life has purpose/goals/correct paths?

BECAUSE I AM.

I mean think about the PRESSURE, the sheer weight of having to know constantly, or be aware of the what you are doing and how it will work out for you. AND I DON'T MEAN THE PREPLANNED my child is going to do law and become a lawyer and get married etc. etc. I am talking about the personal dreams or aspirations as you will, that you PERSONALLY want to make. it doesn't matter how, or where or with who, it just matters that at the end you can safely say that you got everything you were meant to get out of life.

And that thought i just expressed there?! That was a thought, PRODUCED by those pop/religious movements.

HAPPY ENDINGS.

It is exhausting. And more often than not, i feel exasperated by those thoughts. hell, i feel exasperated with ALL MY THOUGHTS.

How am i meant to work it out? And also, being on the right path is necessarily reliant on the people around you! you can't survive in this world alone - it's a social world out there. jungle in fact. SO, not only do i have to worry about whether i am making the right decisions, but i have to consider the effect of those decisions with the world around me. AND I have to bloody well consider the decisions of the people around me and how that affects MY WORLD.

How unfair is that?

very.

I think people call that life, but i call that self centered post modernism. BECAUSE NO ONE THINKS ABOUT ANYONE AROUND THEM, only themselves, and when they make the wrong decisions, they blame it on everyone else. classic victim behaviour.

So, someone is just gonna tell me to shut up and worry about my own life. and I'm gonna tell them, NO YOU SHUTUP AND WORRY ABOUT MY LIFE AS WELL. because, baby, we can't exist without each other. and i don't say that in the corny sense. just the, like, HELLO it's true. objectively. (sense).

So there you have it. The cycle of "happy endings" that are never actually happy, and always fraught with the constant worry that this wasn't how it was supposed to be.

OR WAS IT?!